Mystery at the Musain
by Ignored Genius
Summary: There is a murder in the Café. Javert and a new annoying accomplice scramble to outwit the murderer before he strikes again! Can you figure out ‘who done it’ before the authoress? Please Review!
1. A Particularly Suspicious Beginning

**I'm trying a different type of story here; a mystery! This is an I.G only production, with help from E.G of course. ****PLEASE VOTE ON MY POLL!!!!**** I don't own anything. This is AU and takes place in early spring. **

**Summery- There is a murder in the Café. Javert and his plucky/slow-witted accomplice scramble to outwit the murderer before he strikes again! Can you figure out 'who done it?' before the authoress? **

**AS MUCH AS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE REVIEW I'M BEGGING YOU!!! PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ANY SPOILERS IN YOUR REVIEWS, BE VAGUE! OR, SEND ME A PM WITH YOUR CRITIQUE; PLEASE DO NOT GIVE AWAY ANYTHING!!!**

**Mystery at the Musain**

It was a dark and stormy night when Javert was called to the scene at a dim café were an apparent suicide occurred. The inspector sighed irritably at being called to an open/shut case; he suspected there would be zero action and a mountain of paperwork. As soon as Javert opened the door to the backroom he was over come with the stench of cheap whiskey and whine. In the center of the room, strung up and bleeding from a hidden wound; was Grantaire.

The inspector calmly and slowly eyed the corpse from the polished shoes on the victim's feet to his hair that was combed and slicked back. "Who found the body?" Javert asked a group of young men standing calmly in the back of the room. One of the younger looking lads timidly raised his hand and averted his eyes from the body and inadvertently Javert.

"Did you touch anything?" the inspector asked, taking out a small notebook.

"No. And what does it matter if I did?" The boy asked with only the slightest indignation. Javert rolled his eyes, "What's your name?"

"Baron Marius Pontmercy."

"Was the body like this when you came in?"

"Sir I wouldn't know."

"And why is that?" The baron paused a minute to blush. "Speak up, lad! I haven't got all day!"  
"I fainted upon entering the room, alright!?" Marius admitted with reluctance, "I'd never seen a dead body before." He added quietly sneaking a glance at the body before staring back at his shoes.

"I see… are you usually so weak hearted?"

"No more so then you!"

"I didn't faint." Javert smirked and scribbled in his notebook before turning his attention to the others in the room.

"How many of you knew the victim?" The four men (Marius included) raised their hands. The inspector inwardly heaved a sigh, "Let's start with you," he pointed in somewhat random fashion, "Step forward; state your name and your relation to the victim." Javert commanded drawing a line to separate Marius' statement and the next suspect. "My name is Jean Prouvaire, Grantaire was my friend." Prouvaire's lower lip began to tremble, "I can't believe he's gone!"

"Hmm-mmmm." Javert wrote beneath the name 'J. Prouvaire, friend of victim. Cry baby.' Once he finished, he nodded Jehan to step back and pointed at the next in line. "And you?" **(For the record, if Hugo didn't give the characters a first name it is not meant to be.) **

"Combeferre. Grantaire was… more of a friend of a friend I suppose, I didn't know him extremely well."

"But you knew him pretty well?"

"I just knew him. Courfeyrac knew him better then any of us." The doctor added helpfully. Javert wrote; 'Combeferre; Acquaintance of the victim. May be of of actual use to this case.' "Next." The inspector said dully only to be met with silence. Javert glanced up with annoyance at the tall blonde man who looked scornfully at the corpse. "That means you."

"I don't talk to police." The young man replied rebelliously with a hint of discomfort.

"That's fine. I'll just arrest you for the murder of this young gentlemen here." Javert used his walking stick to point at the dangling corpse. Combeferre leaned over and whispered to the young man, "You're going to die for _Grantaire_?!" The blonde man squeezed his eyes shut and swung his head to the other side as if trying to keep the thought at bay.

"My name is Gerard Depardieu." The blonde said calmly.

"You're lying." Javert said with out looking up from his scribbling which read '-blank name- damn good liar.' The blonde frowned at being caught and sighed in defeat.

"My name is Enjolras."

"You're still lying."

"I am not! It's the truth." He protested with an angry flare.

"I know. I wanted to make sure _you_ knew." Javert looked up smugly at the young man, "Your name…?"

"Enjolras. And I hated Grantaire." There was a warning groan coming from Combeferre. "Shouldn't have said that. Should _not have said that_." The doctor strained. The inspector looked back at the lad and raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? Why?"

"He just convicted himself!" Prouvaire cried as he sobbed into his hands. Javert felt a throbbing headache coming on while rain pounded the roof and thunder crashed as lightening illuminated the backroom. "Everyone quiet down!" he roared with authority.

The room fell silent.

"Now, why exactly did you hate him?" Javert said as he added in his notebook 'lousy attitude.'

"He was a drunk, jobless, lazy, moral-less, piece of scum." The blonde said disdainfully. Javert glanced at the unusually well dressed now deceased Grantaire and frowned.

"He's a drunken lout?"

"Don't ask me why he's well dressed; I couldn't tell you." Enjolras shook his head at the thought.

Javert gave quick look at the dead man and noted what was just said. "Did he seem like the kind of man who would commit suicide?"

"No! Grantaire may have been a drunk, jobless, lazy, moral-less, piece of scum; but he was not a coward!" Jehan defended vehemently. Enjolras mumbled something under his breath. The inspector made note of this in his notebook, the memo read; 'Maybe not a suicide, suspected foul play. Blonde Enjolras is main suspect thus far.' And he wrote the time and date. "Anything else I should know? Besides--" Lightening flashed and the oil lamps were extinguished by some mysterious force leaving the room and it's occupants in pitch blackness.

"Stay where you are!" Javert bellowed as he searched his pockets for a match. The rain pounded ever harder making the thunder sound like a stampede; for a split second a flash of lightening illuminated the room, as two dull thuds were not heard over the rain and thunder. The inspector was successful in finding a match and struck it on the wall. He held it out to discover a very important piece of evidence was missing; The Body!


	2. The Suspects

**How did y'all like that cliffhanger? Not much I wouldn't guess. Anyway, do review, ****s'il ****vous plait! And please vote on my poll! **

Javert stared in disbelief for a second before he stalked across the room to light the gas lamp. Turning round, he discovered a second shocker, Prouvaire had fainted and Marius, white as a ghost, was leaning against the wall for support. Enjolras hadn't moved; he stared blankly at the rope that was swinging its full length back and fourth. Combeferre kneeled next to Prouvaire attempting to wake him up.

"What just happened!?" A panicked Marius asked as he dabbed his pasty forehead with a worn handkerchief. Ignoring Marius, Javert bolted to the window and looked out it; he saw no one. The rain had driven the normally busy body Parisians to shelter. Therefore, the streets were empty.

Slamming the window, Javert walked past the young men and looked out the door with the same result. "Which one of you did it?" the inspector accused turning back to them. "Huh?" Marius said intelligently.

"Which one of you took the body?"

"What!?" Combeferre started indignantly.

"Sir if I may—" Marius began.

"You may not." The inspector interrupted, scribbling furiously in his notepad. Marius continued, "Even if we had cut Grantaire down what would we have done with his… remains?" Javert opened his mouth to reply but quickly realized the glaring flaw in his logic. "Alright. Did anyone see anything?"

"In the pitch blackness?" Enjolras spoke up sarcastically.

"Shut your face, Depardieu."

Out in the street, a young man was rushing towards the café. The occupants of the backroom heard his sloshing steps, "Fellas!" A cheery voice called from the stairs.

"Who are you?" Javert demanded as the steps drew nearer.

"What do you mean 'who are you'?" He asked as he opened the door.

Javert gripped the young man's lapels and swung him into the wall, "I mean, who are you?"

"What gives, gramps?" The young man asked, startled.

"Inspector," Marius said, "That's Courfeyrac!"

Courfeyrac looked at Javert, with a detention hall grin, "Nice to meet you."

Javert let go of him, disgusted, took a step away and took a long, cleansing breath. "You're Courfeyrac. You knew the victim better then anyone else." The inspector grumbled.

"Victim? What victim? What's going on?" The womanizers face fell in confusion as the young doctor rose to his feet.

"Grantaire's dead." Combeferre said sympathetically.

"Dead? Who did it? How? Where!?"

"Uh. That's a mystery. Strangulation or lose of blood. And right there." Marius answered shakily pointing at the rope that had ceased its movement. "Wow. Really? Not alcohol poisoning? Not getting thrown out on the curb too hard?" Courfeyrac said lightly smiling.

"This is serious, you little punk!" Javert started, "Your friend has been _killed! _Doesn't that mean anything to you!?" The womanizer looked away thoughtfully.

"Well when you put it that way. I think of it as 'passing on to a better place' or a worse place. I don't know how harshly God punishes drunks. Hopefully just as harsh as womanizers so I can keep him company in hell." A chuckle escaped Enjolras as Javert rolled his eyes. "Let's get this over with; your name is Courfeyrac," He scribbled in his notepad 'Courfeyrac=smart mouth, joker, immature manner'

"What's your occupation and relationship with the victim?"

"Yeah, I'm Courfeyrac. My occupation…. I guess a student… Grantaire was my drinking' buddy." He smiled fondly at the memory, "The man knew places to eat. Rest his soul, damn bastard, he owed me over 20 francs." Prouvaire began to regain consciousness at this point in time.

"Watch your language, young man!" Javert scolded indignantly; Courfeyrac scoffed childishly. "If you say so, gramps."

"Get out. You're useless."

"So long fellas, drop me a line telling me about the eet-may" ((Pig latin for Meeting, for novices.)) The womanizer winked cheerfully and took his leave.

Enjolras who felt he had been silent for far too long spoke up "Can't we all leave, now? We have classes tomorrow."

"Yes, you may all leave; but don't go far out of the city." Javert put his pencil in his huge pockets and began flipping through his notes. "Get lost. All of you." Enjolras rushed out the door as Combeferre helped Prouvaire up and out. Marius lagged behind.

"Scram, kid."

"Sir, I think I could help you with this particular investigation."

"You all have helped enough."

"But sir, I mean, in technical ways."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I couldn't help notice your handwriting."

"What about my handwriting?!"

"Its hideous."

"Any other useless commentary?"

"Yes, you hate my friends."

"Very true."

"I could help you with that; I know them better then you. You wouldn't have to actually interact with them; I'll answer the questions for them."

"You'd rat on your friends?"

"I rather think of it as eliminating them as suspects."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nearby a suspicious man with white hair and beard strolled briskly down the avenue into the better part of town, hiding his bloodied hands in his pockets.

**REMINDER!!!! DO NOT GIVE ANY THING AWAY IN YOUR REVIEWS! Y'ALL HAVE DONE AN AWESOME JOB SO FAR!!! 3**


	3. Of Mice and Men

**How're ya doin, readers? Good holidays and all? Awesome. On with the story, remember to review and cheer up a high school bum, eh? **

**By the way, thank you Peaches are Good for coining the word Miz-tery; you are a genius.**

**I think all you Marius fans will find this entertaining. ;) **

*~*~*~*~*~*

"You'll answer for your friends; that's what you're telling me?" Javert started writing a new passage in his little notebook entitled 'Fainting Pontmercy's insight:'

"Yes."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Somewhere in the distance a dog was barking ferociously as the white haired man from the previous chapter ran desperately through the ankle deep puddles in the depressed cobblestone without noticing before dodging breathlessly into one of the many lovely houses on the block. Unguided by moonlight or a candle he bounded up the stairs two at a time and into one of the bedrooms, locking the door behind him. He leaned panting against the door a moment. Slowly he faced the mirror but avoided his reflection, he quietly assured those who were listening, "It's done."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"That saves me a lot of trouble. Start with Depardieu; he's what we in the police call 'our prime suspect.'" The inspector sat with authority and motioned for Marius to do so as well.

"Alright, prime suspect." Marius cleared his throat, "What exactly do I say?"

"Anything and everything."

"Well, his name's Enjolras, from what I gather he's wealthy or from a wealthy family, no brothers or sisters—"

"About the _murder_, I don't care about his life story!"

"He really disapproved of Grantaire; most likely to act upon his feelings, but least likely to have done this."

"Why's that?"

"Depard- I mean Enjolras seems to me like the kind of person who would have shot him face to face; butchering and stringing him up for the world to see isn't like him, but then again I don't know him extremely well." Javert wrote this down. "And the Doctor?"

"Combeferre," Marius paused for a second, "I have a personal bias against him."  
"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Public humiliation."

"Hmm, you think he could have done something like this?"

"I can't fairly say, sir!"

"Say it anyway." The inspector replied monotonously

Marius thought hard for several minutes before he could answer "I'm inclined to say yes."

"Why?"

"Well, he's a doctor. Rational and cool headed. As such he would be more then able to handle all the… blood and ooziness."

"Hmm." Javert wrote, 'Doctor, rational, a likely suspect. Retract statement about usefulness.' "Do I even need to ask about Prouvaire?" Marius shook his head,

"He definitely doesn't have the stomach." The lawyer smiled faintly.

"The only boy amongst your play pals with a weaker stomach then you?"

"That was uncalled for, inspector." Marius replied indignantly. "I am only trying to further your investigation with as little needless annoyance and you are still am impolite, bitter and sarcastic old man!" His flare of anger and face fell instantly and he blushed, "I really didn't mean to say that."


	4. And Lawyers

Javert eyed him suspiciously, "What about you? You say you fainted but not one person said they found you lying on the floor. That means there was probably at least a good ten minutes in which you were alone in the initial crime scene."

"No! You have it all wrong, I would never kill anyone!"

"Really? Then what really happened when you entered the room?"  
"I fainted!"

"And?"

"And I laid there until I woke up approximately 15 minutes later. And by then all three suspects were there for a mee--. Play Pals play date."

"They let you lay there face down on the floor?"

"Well, I wasn't facedown, but yes."

"Could it be they don't like you very much?"

"Maybe…"

"That you only volunteered to answer questions for them so that you could incriminate them and get away with murder?"

"What, no!"

"You make me sick."

"I could never kill anyone!"

"Prove it! Roll up your sleeves!"

"Pardon?"

"Roll up your sleeves, how strong are you?"

"Inspector, that is very invasive but if it proves my innocence." Marius took off his jacket, rolled up his hole-ridden sleeves to show his small, lily-white arms to the inspector. "Not very, I'm afraid. I suppose its poor diet." He paused, "Ask Courfeyrac if you still don't believe me, he knows I attend mass every week and am a devout Catholic." The lawyer said as he put his sleeves down and replaced his jacket.

"Religion doesn't make you indestructible. And I wouldn't ask Courfeyrac how to do the Heimlich maneuver if you were choking to death" Javert said thoughtfully as he wrote in his notebook, 'Marius not strong enough to lift body into noose.'

"True, but in the ten commandments it says clearly 'thou shall not kill.'" Javert opened his mouth to say a witty comment when Marius interrupted him, "And I have too much to live for to go to jail for the rest of my life or be… executed."

"Oh?"

"I'm getting married to a beautiful, virtuous and perfect woman." Javert rolled his eyes and put this in his notebook- "Fiancé to beautiful women, is not a likely suspect as a churchgoing, weak armed little boy." And he put the time and date and signed the bottom of the page. "Anything else I should know?"

"I apologize for insulting you, inspector, it was unforgivably rude of me."

"Anything _useful_." He closed his notebook and rose as if to leave seeing as it was past midnight.

"Uh, don't you need to know about Grantaire?" Javert heaved a deep sigh and sat back down, "I suppose, what do you know?"

"Just one little thing; he was genuinely a good soul. Despite the fact that he was a thorough skeptic of _every little thing_ I think he could have had some real worth to society." He yawned and looked past Javert at the shorn rope sympathetically, "I've been wondering what he could have done with the rest of his life if he hadn't been cut down in his prime."

"Cut down, you say?" Javert murmured quietly.  
"Yes." Marius affirmed checking his watch.

"Cut.. Down… Wait a second, that's it!"

"Huh?"

"Get your miserable friends together, I know what happened." Javert flew from his chair to the door and into the pitch black streets leaving Marius alone in confusion.

**-raises eyebrows and waits for response- So, what do you think? Reviews???**


End file.
